Friday, December 12, 2008

Second Chance…

Been MIA for a long time,. Something unforgettable came up. I had my second athma/anxiety attack last Nov. 28 and was rushed to the hospital. I almost didn’t made it. My air passage closed and I was out of breath, I felt like my heart is being strangled,. I was hyperventilating, my whole body was numb and cold already. The massage therapist in our office was pounding my chest to force air to my lungs. He was working hard to revive me. I hear my officemates crying for they see me really struggling for my life. On the way to the hospital I was praying ‘Lord please bata pa ko (im still young)”.. I was exhausted and my body felt weak already, I saw it coming, I felt that was it for me,. I started to rest my mind, stop struggling for my breath and think of my parents, wishing they were there by myside during my last minutes.. I was thinking it will be really hard for them coz im their only girl and was young to die. I think of my beloved one, I was praying he’ll be able to accept what happened and that I prayed that he’ll find happiness even without me.. I didn’t heard the honking of the car as the brave driver (whom I didn’t even know, he was a client from other division, we don’t know who’s division it was too, they we’re all panicking that they forgot to ask him) speed its way to the ER.. It was dark inside the car but all of sudden things turned bright white,. Im not seeing things anymore but white, the noise disappear, im not hearing anything, im not feeling anything. And I said this is it . I see myself dying and said “Lord I now accept my destiny , just please let me spend my eternal life with you in heaven” .. After saying that, I felt myself calmed and I opened my eyes. I saw them getting me out of the car going to the ER , my forehead bumped into the ceiling of the car (which left a tiny lump)but I didn’t felt a thing, they laid me on the hospital bed. I was hyperventilating again, I was struggling for my breath again that I cant answer the doctor when he asked me what happened. My whole body was cold and I was chilling/trembling so bad.. They gave me oxygen mask and injected broncho-dilator on my left arm. It was painful. The pain extended to my left chest.

But I made it! I am thankful I made it, I really thought that

i will rest in peace at age 28.

Days after that my chest feels weak and painful, I cant go up and down our stairs or walk around much, im out of breath, feels tired immediately and I feel chest pains. I
cant sit in front of my PC and go surf the net long, the longest will be like 5 to 10 mins. only after that im exhausted already. I feel my lungs and my heart was battered badly.

I’m doing better now, but I still cant exhaust myself and im still having chest pain whenever I walk around long and fast or whenever I get excited or too happy. I intend to have it checked by a cardiologist if it won’t subside till end of Christmas.
There was one time that I was tired from work ( I get tired rather easily now) that I felt my arms numbing again and I was out of breath again but it subsided, I learned to control it now. Hopefully.. coz the doctor said I should learn it coz it will be dangerous for me to have another attack,. Perhaps because no one might be around to rushed me to the hospital.

So what made this entry to my beauty blogg?!!.. the whole experience left me with a raccoon and panda eyes. They are swelling, puffy, and dark. Tiny vessels erupted in my undereye (yes they are really visible.. I have like 4 on each eye) they have stipes now. Tiny vessels on my eyes erupted too.. I have red eyes now especially when my eyes gets tired. My skin got dry, my hair was dry.. etc…

So what’s a beauty blogger to do॥ Its time again for some serious shopping!!! First stop.. I need a very efficient EYE CREAM!!!!


Violeta said...

Ellaine, Always remember that we your family loves you so much and never ever give up okay!! Lord God has a plan for all of us. Lord Jesus help to those who help them self. Dont let anyone bother you,Fight for that!! BE HAPPY and THINK WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE. DONT STOP DREAMING FOR THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE. LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby.


shatzlaine said...

thanks,. tita.. love you too...